Sinister Ways of Holding On

kiss me that i may never wake
from this abyssmal slumber i behold
life will go on without me
but for you i will linger on
in your mememory
you hold me tight
as the night to the day
silently gripping my neck
into oblivion and beyond
people will pass me by
never noticing the bulge
of my dark midnight eyes
as i hold life dear
and you smash it in the palms of your hands

So this is what I get for holding on.  Misery.  I don’t even have company.  Don’t hate me for what I am about to confess cause i have been keeping it like a mad disease.  Or better yet you can feel whatever you want to feel.  Hate me. Love me. Curse me.  Judge me.  Bitch on me.  Accept me.  Whatever.  Its all the same.  The reality is that I am still groping in the shadows of my past.  Now if you’re shallow as bathwater you wouldn’t have understood what you just read and what i have just typed.  I know, I know, its a sin to still wallow in emotional destruction like I do.  But  I am just a sapient human being with emotions and reason.
I am so sorry, but this is the way I really feel.  Rest your worries cause I am not doing anything about it.  I’m just sitting here, cause this will soon pass.  Eventually.