Hate is Safer than Love

Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you! Ihate you!  Wait, thats not strong enough, I despise you to death!

Merciless as the tyrants of the whole world combined, I finally learned how to plunder your heart like you did mine.  It was hard for me, but it was so much worth it.

It was the first time that I ever rejected you wasnt it?  What are you playing at man?  I also deserve the right to be happy.  Everytime I finally get to have the chance you come raining down on my parade and I will start back to square one.

But I dont know where to start and how to feel.  For the very first time I am proud of myself and I know my friends are too.  It was something I wasnt prepared to do but I should have and I did.  If I gave in, I’d be down on the floor right now and crying my eyes out over what I did and what I let you did.

We just cant keep on going the way are.  It hurts me so much to have to think that you didnt exist last Saturday.  When everything that we do is just a game for you how can I still survive when everything has meaning for me.  If I always gave in it was because it was the only way for me to touch you, to kiss you, to make you feel that I care, to show you how much I love you.  I meant everything. It was the only time I could do all those things.  Cause you were everything I ever wanted.  And after all that we did the morning after, I would feel like I was teethering on the verge of insanity cause I let you played me again.

How can you play with other people’s heart when you know exactly how they love you?  You just do the things that satisfy you for the moment and leave me just like trash after you are finished.  Didnt it ever cross your mind that I only let you take me away its because I still have feelings for you.  There is no other only you.  Still you.

I’m so sorry if you’re feelings were hurt.  I just wondered how it would feel like for the tables to be turned and be the one walking in your shoes.  Did it hurt?  I’m just wondering.  Ay indi gle. Bato ka gle noh, you dont feel anything.  You don’t feel anything, anything with “me” on it.

You know its just feels like my heart has been bludgeoned to pure liquid.  I dont know if I should really be proud of myself or I should have given in to you.  It hurts so much.  Either way, I’m going out of my mind.

How can you be so selfish?

Maybe its time to really let you go.  You havent changed a bit.  All this time I was keeping myself in the dark only for you to find but I see that things are not supposed to be like that.  I deserve to be happy as well, just like you.

Honestly, it doesnt make it any better that you are gone.  It doesnt ease the pain at all.

They say that the greatest act of love is sacrifice.  There, I am sacrificing my happiness for you.  I love you and always will but your happiness just don’t belong with me.  You’re happier with someone else.  Go be happy na.  Indi nlang ko bla pag hilabti.

You put me on a pedestal.

Am I suppose to be happy?  When all I ever wanted comes with a price. =(

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