Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide

After everything you always make it a habit to ask me if I’m okay, and all the time my replies would consist of a nod, a big grin and the words “yes, i’m okay”. all the while my heart is breaking to pieces cause deep inside i know I am a perfect liar. no I am not okay. I have never been good since the day you belonged to someone else. for the record, i’m still not over you. there are so many things left unsaid, like how i miss you, like how i wish it was me instead of her, how you are the first thing that come to my mind each waking moment, how i wish i could be at your side all the time, how i wish i can scream at the top of my lungs how much i love you, how i want to spend my nights curled up talking to you on the phone instead of the futile partying, how i can explain why i still have nobody cause i’m still waiting for you to come back, how i am so amazed at how you drive me crazy all the time, how i cannot resist being nice even though i have vowed time to time that i’ll be mean to you when you text me, how i say yes to you all the time just because i dont want you to be disappointed, how it kills me to see you hurting because of her, how i love you so much but i cannot tell it to you cause its just not right, how it is so painful when you say outright that you have somebody else waiting for you after spending time with me, how i go to parties everytime i can cause i dont want to stay home just because all i would ever do is think of you, and how all these things wouldnt matter cause the only thing i want in this world is you.

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