S and M

I am a masochist and I am my own sadist.  If ever there was a pool overflowing with pain, agony, misery and torture, I would probably be the first to dive in.  To wallow in emotional destruction is something I relish everyday.  I guess it is better to feel pain than nothing at all.

I used to drink a lot just to numb the tormenting anguish but that didnt do much.  After the alcohol gets flushed out, and the Valium wears out,   all I got was a crazy hang over and super thick moonshines!  That is why I stopped and dealt with the soreness that damaged me every second of every day.

Right now, my favorite form of flagellation would still be loving “toot”. I got addicted to the pain and I wonder what I would do if it will disappear.